Not Just a Phase follows a girl’s journey living with depression to break misconceptions and show that having depression is not just a phase, its real.
FADE IN:
OUTSIDE – Night
Young woman walking on the street.
WOMAN SPEAKING (EMILY)
I just feel like my world is just black. I wake up and all I want to do is just die.
CUT TO – Inside
Young woman speaking in a room
EMILY
I think the one thing that I can’t fucking stress enough, is that people don’t understand that having depression, they think it’s a choice. When it’s really not a choice at all.
CUT TO – Outside
EMILY
It’s not like one day I woke up and I said that I wanted to be depressed.
CUT TO – Pictures of young woman
EMILY
I started feeling depressed when I was 12 years old. But I never really acted on it until I was about 15. I don’t think it was just one event, I think that it was a bunch of events leading up to one massive blow-up of me just not being able to take things anymore. I think it was just – I think things one after the other and it just kind of blew up and I couldn’t take it anymore.
CUT TO – Inside
EMILY
This cloud that was constantly following me around and I just found it really hard to find the light in things and be happy with anything, really.
CUT TO – Inside
Young woman in bed, then in a room
EMILY
There are days when I just don’t want to do absolutely anything. I want to sleep all the time, I can’t find it in myself to be happy.You wake up, you don’t leave your bed, you just want to stay there. It’s really hard because out of a week I have those days maybe 4 or 5 times and then other days I’m perfectly fine. It’s a difficult thing to deal with but it’s hard to get through a day when you just feel absolutely miserable.
CUT TO – Street, young woman walking
EMILY
It’s like a demon is following you around, latching onto your back reminding you of how miserable you are. It’s not something that I would want people to experience, I just think very dark things. People would usually see the glass half full, I’m a half empty kind of person. So any situation I always think negative. It sucks but. I can’t go in public places that are really busy because I just feel like my heart starts racing.
EMILY (CONT’D)
Actually a lot of depressed people – I found this in a study -they tend to be more talkative in a social setting because they want people to like them and they want people to think that they’re happy. When really they’re just really miserable.
CUT TO – Speaking in room
EMILY
I’m that type of person, I pretend that I’m really, really happy and I wear a really good mask. And I’m really good at hiding it. But then I go home I’m really really depressed, it’s just a matter of how you want to present it. I think my social life is fine because I pretend and tell myself that I’m okay when I’m not.
CUT TO – Woman in bathroom
EMILY
I take antidepressants – one tablet before I go to bed. It helps, it’s been helping for the past couple of years.
CUT TO – Woman speaking in room
EMILY
It’s really hard because I can’t – it’s harder for me to find happiness in certain things. Everyday that I’m fucking miserable and want to die, I just remember the one thing that keeps me going and it’s the support and the love from my mom. I don’t know what kind of a person I would be, everyday I’m thankful to have that. Because without her I would definitely, definitely not be here right now.
CUT TO – Young woman walking on street
EMILY
It’s a sickness, it’s a disease, and people need to understand that it’s not a choice. I don’t think anybody would choose to be depressed. Depression is real, and if you can help somebody and support somebody through it then you should.
Discuss